If I Wake by Nikki Moyes

Author:Nikki Moyes
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: depression, hope, suicide, death, school, friend, historical, teen, bullying, timeslip
Publisher: Nikki Moyes

Letting Go

I become conscious of the familiar hospital scent before I even open my eyes. I lie still trying to ignore the present, but is a bloody battle field really a better place to be? I don’t belong in either. My mind ticks over, evaluating my situation.

I sit up abruptly opening my eyes. There was a car crash. I search my mind for details. Emma had been driving her dad’s car. We damaged La-a’s car and rolled further up the road. Emma helped me out through the windscreen. There was a fire and Emma couldn’t find her phone. I hit my head. Emma had sounded scared but alive. I sigh in relief.

The sound fixes me in the present. Will slips away from me. I hit my head and lost consciousness. It wasn’t real. I lift my hospital gown to check for injuries. I have marks on my torso that could be from Cumberland’s men cutting me down, but they’re not. I was in a car crash. That’s where the marks came from. There is no Will. My only friend is Emma. I take deep gasping breaths. The truth hurts. I am here and I am alone.

Mum arrives to pick me up from the hospital still in her work uniform. She brings me a change of clothes. The school uniform I’d been wearing when we crashed is ruined. I’m going to have to wash it and see if I can rescue anything, otherwise I will have detention for being out of uniform. I rub my eyes to remove the moisture forming.

Mum barely talks to me. She yells at me as soon as we’re out of the hospital about how irresponsible I’ve been and how I’m never to see ‘that girl’ ever again. I’m also grounded. I don’t think Mum understands the concept. You can’t ground someone who has nowhere to go.

It’s not until I’ve scraped together a uniform and about to leave the house in the morning that I remember I left my bike at Emma’s house. I’ve been too busy thinking about what I’m going to say to Emma that I’m already down the back steps when it occurs to me.

I pause in the backyard. My bike sits in its usual place at the back of the house. I stare at it suspiciously for a few moments, but it doesn’t disappear. It’s definitely my bike and it’s where it should be.

Something white is taped to the handlebars of the bike. I peel it carefully away to reveal Emma’s mp3 player and a scrap of paper with my name on it. There is a note squeezed in underneath.

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